50 Golf Jokes to Tee Up Your Laughs


1. Why do golfers carry an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole-in-one.

2. Why did the golfer bring a pencil to the course? To draw his drives.

3. What’s the easiest shot in golf? Your fourth putt.

4. Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants? In case he gets a hole-in-one!

5. Why did the golfer bring a ladder? To reach the high scores.

6. Why did the golfer bring a bucket of water to the course? To wash up after sinking a putt.

7. Why are golfers bad at relationships? They always try to avoid the bunkers.

8. What do you call a lion playing golf? A putt-er cat.

9. Why don’t golfers play cards? Because there are too many clubs.

10. How do golfers stay cool in the summer? They sit by their fans.

11. What did the golfer say to the ball? Don’t go into the water!

12. What is a golfer’s favorite type of music? Swing.

13. Why do golfers hate cake? They don’t want to cut it.

14. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!

15. Why do golfers always carry a marker? To keep score.

16. Why did the golfer bring an umbrella? In case of a rainy day bogey.

17. Why are golf jokes so funny? They always hit the green.

18. How does a golfer like their eggs? Over easy.

19. Why did the golfer bring a rope to the course? To tie up loose ends.

20. Why do golfers always carry a spare tire? In case they get a flat on the green.

21. Why did the golfer bring sunscreen? To avoid getting a “forehead” sunburn.

22. What do you call a golf tournament for trees? A leaf-invitational.

23. Why do golfers have bad days? Because they are always “putt” down.

24. What’s a golfer’s favorite number? Fore!

25. Why did the golfer bring a map? To find his way out of the rough.

26. Why do golfers never get lost? They always follow the fairway.

27. Why do golfers carry a first aid kit? In case of a “stroke.”

28. How does a golfer greet the ball? With a “drive-by.”

29. Why do golfers never have trouble with birds? They know how to avoid the birdie.

30. Why do golfers never get lonely? They always have a “club.”

31. Why do golfers make good detectives? They can always find the hole.

32. What do golfers call a bad day? A slice of life.

33. Why did the golfer bring a shovel? To dig himself out of the sand trap.

34. Why did the golfer bring a backpack? To carry his clubs.

35. Why did the golfer go to school? To improve his “course” work.

36. What did the golfer say to the grass? Cut it out!

37. Why are golf courses so calming? Because they are always green.

38. Why do golfers always bring extra balls? Because they have a lot of “miss-takes.”

39. What’s a golfer’s favorite animal? A birdie.

40. Why did the golfer bring a tape measure? To measure his drives.

41. Why did the golfer bring a flashlight? In case he plays after dark.

42. What do golfers call a bad lie? An “unfairway.”

43. Why did the golfer bring a broom? To sweep the competition.

44. What did the golfer say when he hit the ball into the water? Splash!

45. Why did the golfer bring a fan? To keep his “swing” cool.

46. Why did the golfer go to the doctor? He had a “stroke.”

47. Why do golfers always have snacks? Because they always take a “bite” out of the course.

48. Why did the golfer bring a magnifying glass? To find his ball in the rough.

49. Why did the golfer bring a whistle? To blow off steam.

50. What do golfers call a great drive? A “tee-riffic” shot.